Several Fantastic Professional Coaching Tips For Staying Married

Posted on February 26, 2010
Filed Under Time Management |

Parents can find it very hard to understand all the changes that they have gone through. They may well have become accustomed to the idea of living together and operating as a cohesive partnership, but when children arrive this throws the delicate balance off course.

Some of these momentous changes can make a big difference to a happy marriage. Tactful tweaks and adjustments will be needed by both partners in the relationship to smooth the path, and not only for new parents. Maintaining a happy and successful relationship when kids come into the equation really does require us to constantly work at our relationship with our other half.

Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. Do you feel that you cannot properly see the problem due to life’s complexity? This is particularly apt when applied to two frazzled parents who have to just keep going! From an overall perspective, both now have to take on additional jobs and become multiple role players. In a situation such as this, even more pressure can arise as each person tries to concentrate on their new role, to the detriment of the other relationships. To take new parents as an example again, “mum” may become somewhat obsessed with the idea of caring for her newborn and the marriage itself may not have as much of a priority.

Meanwhile, new dads can often feel a bit left out and surplus to requirements! A husband may “assume” that his wife needs overall responsibility and is the best person to look after the kids. Subconsciously or otherwise, this may result in him backing away from the relationship as a whole, even though he thinks it is the right thing.

Both parties need to watch each other and look for tell-tale signs. Some of the symptoms include a quick temper, a feeling that one cannot cope and becoming irritable. The worst thing one can do is to leave any potential problems unchecked as they can quickly become unmanageable and dangerous.

It is always best to sit down when the kids are asleep or in school and have a heart-to-heart conversation with each other. Quietly and calmly ask your opposite half whether you are being reasonable and expect their honest replies. Remind each other that things have changed now that you have additional family members and this is to be understood, priorities now look different.

You both have to work together as a cohesive team to raise your children in the way you want, and you shouldn’t underestimate how much effort and active input this takes from both of you. Give yourselves a pat on the back and never forget that you two represent the lead team in the family!

It’s not all doom and gloom You do need to prioritise time together, but just make sure that your time represents quality time. Can you remember when you had a nice weekend away together? That romantic dinner should be scheduled as often as everything allows and try your best to come up with small, but meaningful and romantic gifts or surprises for each other.

Experts can often help mums with their huge challenge ahead, especially those who are still working when all this madness is going on. Thankfully, online life coaching is a marvellous way to pick up some truly professional coaching, and when it comes to coaching for women, it’s the perfect place to turn when life becomes manic!

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.

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