I’m Still In Love With My Ex – How Can I Heal My Broken Heart?

Posted on December 1, 2010
Filed Under Time Management | Leave a Comment

The breakup is still new in your mind so it is logical to think “I’m still in love with my ex.” You are still clinging to some hope that you will get back together which doesn’t mean that the break up had to be recent. You can’t help but think “How can I get them back and heal my broken heart?”

With the holidays coming up it’s natural to feel lonely and want what you use to have, but be careful what you wish for. Before you continue you need to make certain you really think it through because getting back together with your ex may not be the greatest thing.

First of all you should think about why you broke up. Doesn’t matter what the problems maybe, can you single-handedly mend it? Unless your ex is on board with trying to make it work, you may have to change only the things you can do alone.

Your relationship would not have ended if there wasn’t something wrong and you don’t need the same relationship again. So instead of repeating the same old cycle, which will not be appealing to your ex, you need to add something new to the relationship.

Such as, thinking about what your fights were about and the things that went wrong in your relationships. Who started the fights, you or him? I discovered after my breakup that I always tried to fix everything, I was way too motherly and didn’t allow him the opportunity to figure things out himself. It made him feel inferior and like a child. Otherwise like my friend Serena, she drove her husband away because she let her resentment and anger out on him, are you like this?

The fantastic thing about hindsight is it allows us to reflect on the past without bias and emotion. Make a list of the things you believe went amiss and try to amend them. If angry was an issue for you, before attempting to talk to your ex, you need to try and let it go. If you are like me, always trying to fix things, learn to listen and be there for him instead of trying to fix everything. It will lift his self-esteem if he can take care of it himself so let him come up with some ideas.

By making an sincere effort to change once you have figured out what you must to do, only then can you begin to restore a friendship with your ex. Take things slow and test the waters a little bit. Pushing too hard could scare him off forever. If he seems to be responding to your efforts then maybe try hanging out, invite him out with some friends, but keep it really casual. Let him see that you have changed, don’t point it out to him, if it was a real sore spot in your relationship then he will definitely notice.

It may be slow going but that is ok as you need to let the relationship take its course. Various things take longer to repair than others. You have changed for the long haul, not just temporarily, is what he needs to know and see. Hopefully by the holidays you will be thinking about what the New Year will bring for the two of you, instead of thinking, “I’m still in love with my ex, how can I heal my broken heart?”.

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